Rev. Dr. Liz Mosbo VerHage

Pastor. Professor. Consultant. Coach. Author. Wife & Mom.

The Four Agreements

I first heard of these ‘agreements’ from a great friend, pastor and life coach, Carleton Peterson. He embodied these agreements in a passionate and compelling way, out of a commitment to both psychological and spiritual health. A friend recently reminded me of them, and I am struck buy their profoundness again tonight. If you’re never heard of them, they are listed below. The background of these sayings can be found here – these agreements come out of a Mexican wisdom tradition that is “part of all esoteric world religions” – so these are not “Christian” claims, as some have argued over, but they do provide wisdom and point to health, just as many “sacred and secular” disciplines can inform excellent pastoral work and vital ministry (another convrsation can be had if the secular and the sacred are even separate realms.. but, that is another topic.) I am thinking through these agreements again tonight:  

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

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