The theme for a conference I am at this weekend is “The Beautiful Struggle.” It’s an interesting concept to ground a group of ministry people who are usually pretty busy, pretty good at running forward to get more done, pretty good at trying to help others and change the world. I like that we are pausing to take at look at the under-belly, so to speak; to stop and say that before we all get cleaned up, before we all rehearse for ordination interviews and job placement conversations, before we look all together and preach – we all struggle. We all have messiness, brokenness, hurt and pain. And we all actually need that pain & need that struggle to be human, to be genuine, to be Christ-like.
I think most of us in the church would agree with this concept of needing to struggle, at least in principle. I know for me that this idea that struggle is beautiful makes sense intellectually, but it is often difficult to really believe that in practice. To really embrace pain and struggle when it is happening in my own life is hard. To really believe that struggle is good, and shaping me, and even necessary, is hard. I think I am in a season of re-learning what this whole concept means in terms of trust, patience, prayer, honesty, community, and faith.
While it is fairly easy for me to write a paper on the theological concept of suffering, God redeeming pain, or a related concept, it is much harder to live it out in all the messiness of everyday life. It’s hard for me to thrive in the middle of several weighty struggles, to pray and not despair on the bad days of the struggle, and to trust the end results of the struggle will be good and will be redeeming while the present struggle tears things apart.
I know we are not alone in the struggle. I know I am lucky to have people and places that catch me when I can’t take another step. And I know that God is moving and actively part of this struggle, whether I always can see that or not. But genuinely seeing the struggle as beautiful is still a challenge for me – and it is also a task that is calling to me.
I feel like I want to learn more about this – and live more of this…. the beautiful struggle. And I have a feeling that this will be one of those life-long lessons.