I have had several conversations lately about what to do when church fails people. This is a favorite topic of mine – not favorite as in I enjoy talking about it, or I enjoy the reality that causes these conversations, but it’s a topic I enjoy getting into because there is deep woundedness, sadness, grief, and questions around this topic, both from people still in the church and those who have exited. Often, if you’re struggling with how faith or Christians or the church or your idea of discipleship has let you down, it’s an extremely lonely place – and often these people are not received where they are, or given space for anger or depression or doubt, nor are they able to process this reality with someone who still loves and believes in the church. I’ve had some experience on this road and have walked with many others still on it…
I recently read some posts from a blogger whose site is called Dead Youth Pastor Walking – he has some funny and well-written critiques of formalized, paid youth ministry and why he left the formality of it to work on the more relational, community-building, freeing aspects of caring for youth in a church. One of his critiques of youth ministry in our culture that I found very accurate:
‘Yes, this is what’s wrong with youth ministry. its because there has been, for too many years, a WAVE of misinformation-by-example coming from the national and international level, from publications, denominations, spokespeople, conferences, camps, events, and more; that says:”ideal youth ministry should be: fulltime, paid, travel agency, cruise director, pie throwing, organized, programmatic.” ‘
While I haven’t done that much ‘youth’ ministry, specifically, my experience growing up, with churches and youth events now, and with other youth pastors confirms many of his warnings. His site seems to be a place for personal reflection of his angst – which is part spiritual and part emotional, he admits – and apparently it attracted many others working on understanding how to “do church” and how to deal with her scars, blemishes, and abuses. Dead Youth Pastor has, for now, closed up shop – he posted what he called his last entry a few months ago and it’s a moving,
4 thoughts on “Dead Youth Pastor Walking”
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i don’t know that i totally agree with “Dead Youthpastor Walking,” especially as one going into full town youth ministry following seminary and currently doing youth ministry. however, i too wonder what the point of it all is and struggle as i see “youth ministry majors” focus on games and program. is this what it’s all about? this is it? all we can offer kids is games and a fun program? i’d like to hear your personal suggestions about the current state of youth ministry and where you see it going?
Chad – so are you at NPTS, by chance? Thanks for the comment – I don’t think his site was meant to be prescriptive in any way; more his personal struggles within a flawed system. As one who has never done paid youth ministry, I am pretty underqualified to pontificate! But – my two cents would be that youth min. has many of the same issues our churches do, in that we dont’ think enough, practice enough, or act enough in a holistic, biblical, communal way – we get sucked into a subculture that we mistake for defining “Christian” ’cause it is what we know and what we have seen. One of the most amazing youth leaders I have ever seen I just saw in action two weeks ago. Across race, gender, age, culture, and as the group processed a student’s death, this woman could show love and accountability and genuine relationship to a group of over 20 urban kids. She calls them during the week all the time, they all are on her cell, and some students who have hit hard patches have stayed over at her place for a weekend. It’s not codependent or weird, but it’s a close, authentic, healthy, hopeful youth ministry – and this group responds by supporting each other, always attending everything the church does, hanging out with each other on their own, welcoming others, etc. I think overall youth ministry is our window to encourage and embody faith to the next generation, and unhealthy issues in the church at large (like a cultural narrow-mindedness, push for glitz, focus on production or just on the numbers), will wear and push youth leaders and the youth. What I really hear from DYP’s site and his critique of ministry in general is pain and being let down from his body of faith, somewhat due to mis-focused priorities in youth ministry and at his church. But that’s all I got!
This is just another heart-wrenching example, in my opinion, of how the American Christian church’s immersion in a capitalist society has commodified its internal values (turned relationships into commodities to be bought and sold). The woman you describe and the youth ministry she has is rare, because most of the time, the problem with paid youth ministry (or paid ministry of any sort) is the “paid” part. When we are used to assigning value to items we exchange with each other through a system of currency, we subconsciously bring that method of valuation into these paid positions. The job of the youth pastor then derives its value from those who provide the money to shape the identity of that job, not from God’s grace. Youth pastors (and all ministers) need to be freed of this capitalist trap to be allowed to do what they are gifted by God and called to do. I enjoyed this post, Liz, good thoughts.
This post reminds me of my recent encounter with what is fondly known as “The Youth Ministry Hummer.” Yes, you read correctly. I was on my way to a “worship concert” back in January. As we walked into the church, I noticed a huge H3 in the parking lot. On the side of the Hummer it said, “Christian Assembly Youth Ministry…” and something about loving Jesus. I started ranting to my friends, “Why on earth would a church BUY a hummer for their youth ministry? What kind of value does that communicate to young people about the heart of our Christian witness? blah blah blah.” My friend and I started to engage in a heated argument. He told me, “Before you judge the speck in your neighbor’s eye remove the plank from your own.” I was pissed. His argument was perhaps the hummer was a donation to the church and they were using it to bring more youth into their ministry. I find this hard to swallow. Granted, we want to encourage youth in their spiritual lives and appeal to them. But, does this appeal come at the expense of buying into “youth” culture of materialism?
Personally, I was involved with Young Life in high school. I had apositive experience, but my biggest issue with the ministry: the short term nature of their commitment to youth. Many YL leaders entered into my life for 1 year at most. They never really stuck with me throughout high school. I think this is really damaging for youth to have influential mentors leave, after only a few months. Also, it promotes a lack of continued discipleship. Just a few of my thoughts…