Rev. Dr. Liz Mosbo VerHage

Pastor. Professor. Consultant. Coach. Author. Wife & Mom.

Dating Jesus (insert gag here)

A friend sent along the following article that highlights the (apparently growing) trend among some evangelical Christians to use dating or marriage language literally, especially directed at women, when talking about their relationships with Christ. I’ve always had a hard time with this area – struggled to understand the name ‘Lover’ or ‘Husband’ for God, and been annoyed at ‘love song’ worship music (even though many of those same musical pieces are dear to me and carry deep emotional significance, some even also have theological depth). The biblical metaphors of Christ as a bridegroom yearning for the bride of the church, or of God loving each individual so tenderly and intimately that it is like a lover’s passion – these are absolutely important and part of how we have a rounded, holistic sense of how God loves and relates to God’s people (even as I recognize that this sense of God can at times feel foreign to me). But that language, used in any other context than it’s biblical origins or as part of understanding a larger and more complex God, often troubles me. Maybe it’s because our human/Western/21st century sense of bride and groom and our gendered stereotypes cannot be plied away from how we often use or understand the metaphor of Christ as a bridegroom saving and cleansing the church; maybe it’s because the church is a collective, called-out community that is given its identity through grace, not through being pretty enough to get picked for the dance; maybe its because it completely overlooks the fact that Christ never did choose to marry and many of his followers were also called to celibacy as an integral part of a deeply devoted faith; maybe it’s because there is no way that our human understanding of eros love, all bound up with hormones and selfishness and loneliness and finitude, is adequate or appropriate as something to be projected onto a God that is at once Creator, Savior of the World, Son of Man with skin on, the Holy Spirit and eternal Sustainer. Christ as my personal ‘date for tea’ – no thanks. Christ as the object of my personal adoration, and the focus/definition of my corporate identity and worship in the church – absolutely. Any thoughts?       

Here is one (cheeky) excerpt from the article: “I don’t question the devotion of anyone who says she loves Christ intensely, whatever language she uses to express it. But I have little patience for taking biblical metaphors too far and giving one’s relationship with God an air of irreverent chumminess. Somehow, the scenario in which ‘his princess’ shaves her legs for a date with Jesus seems to leave little room for fear of God.”

2 thoughts on “Dating Jesus (insert gag here)

  1. So well put, Hiedi! 🙂 Another, very well written commentary on dating in general was recently posted by my favorite Florida resident, Josh Danielson. Check it out – its on the right-hand side, labeled “I HEART match.com”
    http://www.myspace.com/joshuardanielson

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