One of my favorite singers ever, and one of my only consistantly favorite Christian songwriters, is Rich Mullins. Before almost anyone else, Rich wrote songs with complex lyrics, and wrote about poverty and serving others, God’s greatness and our questions, joy in our faith but also lamenting the world as it is – and he always used hope and poetics to do it. He died tragically at a young age and left a legacy in the Christian music world that I don’t think will be replaced.
“If I Stand” is a “Rich song” from my childhood – it shaped me throughout middle school and high school, after I was introduced to his music at summer camp. I heard it after church this Sunday as we were walking out of the service and it immediately reminded me of a more simple, intense, now past season of my faith. I was transported to the squishy chairs and wooden floors at our camp’s chapel, where I stayed up late with kleenex boxes countless nights talking with Lisa; I remember learning to harmonize to this song with Serena and still know exactly where in the song we always grabbed eachother’s hands or shared a meaningful look; I remember writing feverishly in my journal while this song played during our youth group mission trip to Chicago where I worked in a homeless shelter for the first time; I remember long drives with Kevin talking through faith and relationships and the future with this song on the stereo (along with some REM, of course!)
And the beauty of these lyrics, the moving quality of Rich’s music, is that this song still gets me today. I haven’t heard it in awhile – but as I hummed along this Sunday, I realized that each line still speaks profound truth into my life. So thanks, Rich, and thanks to my faithful friendships who over the years have grown even sweeter and broader; my community continues to be a pivotal part of my understanding and growing closer to God. So – here are the lyrics:
If I Stand
There is more that rises in the morning than the sun, and more that shines in the night than just the moon. There is more than just this fire here that keeps me warm, in a shelter that is larger than this room.
There is a loyalty that is deeper than mere sentiment, and a music higher than the songs that I can sing. The stuff of earth competes for the allegience that I owe only to the Giver of all good things.
So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through, and if I can’t let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you.
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has borne in me these songs, and if I weep it be as a man who is longing for his home.
There’s more that dances on the prairies than the wind, and more that pulses in the ocean than the tide.
There’s a love that is fiercer than the love between friends, more gentle than a mother’s when a baby is at her side.
There is a loyalty that is deeper than mere sentiment, and a music higher than the songs that I can sing. The stuff of earth competes for the allegience that I owe only to the Giver of all good things.
So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through, and if I can’t let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you.
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has borne in me these songs, and if I weep it be as a man who is longing for his home.